Top 5 Reasons for Premarital Counseling8:29:00 AM
It’s been 10 years since we said our I Do’s and it has been a wonderful ride. But before we walked down the aisle, my husband and I attended weekly marriage counseling with our pastor. I know what you are thinking – how dreadful! But to be honest, it was one of the best things we did as a couple. So many people get so caught up in the wedding planning, that they forget to discuss the important facts of starting a life together.
Here the top things we learned in counseling and still implement in our marriage:
Define roles. We had to talk about how we envisioned the roles of each other in the marriage. For example, my husband hates to sweep and said he never wants to do that chore. I on the other hand refuse to take out the trash or change a light bulb. So when I ask him to take out the trash and he jokingly says, “You can’t do it?” Nope, you knew this before you married me!
Finances. Of course we had talked about this, but we had to sit and write out a budget together. It forces you to see each other’s spending habits, bills, priorities and saving plans. We also decided on an amount of money each of us can spend before calling and asking the other one if it is ok to make a purchase. This helps with sticker shock and to double check to make sure the funds are in the bank.
Holidays. We made a firm plan for how we would spend our holidays. Not just the traditions for the two of us, but how we would divide our time between our parents. Most married couples fight about this, so having discussed and set up plan before the wedding will help avoid conflict later on.
Dislikes. Like most couples, our dating life was all roses. But I remember one session that we had to look each other in the eye and say what we didn’t like about each other. They basically forced us to fight! But it was actually good to let each other know what we didn’t like and what things we were willing to change. Better let it all before the wedding, especially if it’s something that could possibly be a deal breaker.
Family time. Simply discussing how you plan to make family time. We both agreed to eating dinner every night at the table without the television being on. We both grew up that way and believe it’s important to carry that into our marriage. Decided to have monthly family meetings to discuss what plans/goals we have for the week, month and year. Time gets away from us all and this helps us come together and see what needs to be done as a family.